How Did You "Measure Up" At Birth?
Do you remember stories your family shared about you when you were first born?
Many times, we may remember bits and pieces of stories that have been shared about our beginnings on this planet. Oftentimes, however, we don't tend to be aware of the connections these stories have on the way we perceive ourselves and the way we function in our lives. The stories may be perceived as "amusing," "embarrassing," "hurtful," "endearing," etc. to us, but the long term impact may go unnoticed.
Some things to reflect on during this section of the exercise are:
A child I worked with many years ago had been born with a malfunctioning heart valve. He had to have surgery to repair it when he was still an infant. As a result of this, he had a scar that ran the length of his chest. His mother would always remind him that he had to protect this area and make sure no one hit him there or it could be fatal. He was also small for his age and had two younger sisters. When I was working with him, he was in the 3rd - 6th grade. When I first met him, he would usually appear very angry and was combative with his peers. His perception was that he had to appear tough so none of the other children would even try to get to his "weak spot" on his chest. Most of the other students were not aware of his medical history; they just identified him as a troublemaker and bully. This student also had a difficult time respecting boundaries between the roles of adults and children since he was the "little man" in his home and felt he was the one to be in control. The mother initially had difficulty seeing how her "warning" her son about his weakness was adding fuel to his anger, which was really his way of covering up his anxiety about getting hurt. She needed time to first work out her own anxiety of his "weakness" as she frequently revisited her stories of her traumas with his medical needs at birth. Through play therapy with puppets and drawings, he was able to gradually express his concerns and shift his perceptions from being this "vulnerable, little" person to a child who was now healthy and able to thrive. He was a survivor, not an ongoing victim that could use the "power" he had since birth to survive, to now thrive. By the time he graduated from 6th grade, he had been able to identify activities he could participate in such as baseball and creative drawing classes and feel accomplished. He also shifted from bullying others to being the mediator as he used his "power" to help "heal" other situations instead of magnifying them.
As you look back at your own birth, how did you "measure up?" Visit www.MutsMer.com for more information.
Many times, we may remember bits and pieces of stories that have been shared about our beginnings on this planet. Oftentimes, however, we don't tend to be aware of the connections these stories have on the way we perceive ourselves and the way we function in our lives. The stories may be perceived as "amusing," "embarrassing," "hurtful," "endearing," etc. to us, but the long term impact may go unnoticed.
Some things to reflect on during this section of the exercise are:
- Were you a "full term" baby or a "preemie?"
- Were you considered a "big", “average” or "not thriving” baby?
- Were you able to bond with your mother right away, or were you in an incubator until you were able to be "stabilized?"
- Were you born with drug withdrawal symptoms, a "blue" baby, a c-section?
- What nationality were you labeled at birth? What country were you born in compared to where you were raised?
- What was your mother's condition at the time of your birth? Did she have any medical complications during or as a result of your birth?
- Who did you look like when you were first born? How does that compare to who you resemble now?
A child I worked with many years ago had been born with a malfunctioning heart valve. He had to have surgery to repair it when he was still an infant. As a result of this, he had a scar that ran the length of his chest. His mother would always remind him that he had to protect this area and make sure no one hit him there or it could be fatal. He was also small for his age and had two younger sisters. When I was working with him, he was in the 3rd - 6th grade. When I first met him, he would usually appear very angry and was combative with his peers. His perception was that he had to appear tough so none of the other children would even try to get to his "weak spot" on his chest. Most of the other students were not aware of his medical history; they just identified him as a troublemaker and bully. This student also had a difficult time respecting boundaries between the roles of adults and children since he was the "little man" in his home and felt he was the one to be in control. The mother initially had difficulty seeing how her "warning" her son about his weakness was adding fuel to his anger, which was really his way of covering up his anxiety about getting hurt. She needed time to first work out her own anxiety of his "weakness" as she frequently revisited her stories of her traumas with his medical needs at birth. Through play therapy with puppets and drawings, he was able to gradually express his concerns and shift his perceptions from being this "vulnerable, little" person to a child who was now healthy and able to thrive. He was a survivor, not an ongoing victim that could use the "power" he had since birth to survive, to now thrive. By the time he graduated from 6th grade, he had been able to identify activities he could participate in such as baseball and creative drawing classes and feel accomplished. He also shifted from bullying others to being the mediator as he used his "power" to help "heal" other situations instead of magnifying them.
As you look back at your own birth, how did you "measure up?" Visit www.MutsMer.com for more information.
Posted by MutsMer.com at 11/6/2009 3:13 PM 
Categories: Physical Body Reflection, Healthy Legacy, Your Birth
Tags: hurtful born nationality mother preemie heart valve medical history c-section family embarrassing vulnerable medical complications appearence perception bully baby full term
Categories: Physical Body Reflection, Healthy Legacy, Your Birth
Tags: hurtful born nationality mother preemie heart valve medical history c-section family embarrassing vulnerable medical complications appearence perception bully baby full term
I strongly believe with what you are saying in that the things that happen to us when we are born or early in life that they shape and effect who we are today!
Aaron Rabinowitz
Author of QUIT While Working: A Real Life GPS to Chart...And Fulfill Your Purpose
www.QuitWhileWorking.com
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