The Past - Present Connection
What does the "good old days" have to do with your "present days?"
Picture in your mind a typical day for you in your household as far back as you can remember. (This would be a good exercise to do in your journal)
What I had not picked up on was that even with the humor there was a lot of abrasiveness in her choice of words. Although I had a different way of sharing humor, I had not realized how much the violent undertones were still very much present. I also had not realized the impact that this violent pattern had on my self confidence, my intimate relationships, etc. As I became more in touch with how this violent pattern had permeated my way of being not just with others, but with myself, I was able to gradually shift this. As a result, I began to notice that everyone around me also began to shift in how they related to me also. My household began to take on a more "peaceful and harmonious" tone, where conflicts did not end in feeling like I had just gone through a war.
As you reflect on your own original family's pattern, how do you see it show up in your current one? Visit www.MutsMer.com for more information.
Picture in your mind a typical day for you in your household as far back as you can remember. (This would be a good exercise to do in your journal)
- How old were you?
- Who was usually present in your household?
- How would you describe the atmosphere in your household then?
- Was it quiet and peaceful?
- Was it loud and chaotic?
- Was there always a cold war going on where you were constantly waiting for the last shoe to drop?
- Was it free flowing where anything went and you never knew when and what you were having for meal times or what the household rules were as they were constantly changing?
- Was there a consistent routine where everyone was clear what was expected and when?
- Was it very rigid where you felt like you were in boot camp and not allowed to express yourself?
- Describe in your own words, which may reflect some of the above or whatever and however it comes to mind.
- How did the members of your household interact with each other?
- Was the communication warm and loving or at each other's throat?
- Were the interactions competitive or supportive of each other?
- Were the communications more verbal or implied? If implied, how so?
- What differences did you notice?
- What similarities were there and in what areas?
- How do you feel about the differences and similarities?
- Now revisit the differences and really look at them? Are they really different, or is it still present but with a different face or role?
What I had not picked up on was that even with the humor there was a lot of abrasiveness in her choice of words. Although I had a different way of sharing humor, I had not realized how much the violent undertones were still very much present. I also had not realized the impact that this violent pattern had on my self confidence, my intimate relationships, etc. As I became more in touch with how this violent pattern had permeated my way of being not just with others, but with myself, I was able to gradually shift this. As a result, I began to notice that everyone around me also began to shift in how they related to me also. My household began to take on a more "peaceful and harmonious" tone, where conflicts did not end in feeling like I had just gone through a war.
As you reflect on your own original family's pattern, how do you see it show up in your current one? Visit www.MutsMer.com for more information.
Posted by MutsMer.com at 1/22/2010 9:23 AM 
Categories: Childhood, Communication, Present, Past
Tags: speaking atmosphere workshop supportive role violent kinder past humor good old days family peaceful present competitve household gentle childhood communication
Categories: Childhood, Communication, Present, Past
Tags: speaking atmosphere workshop supportive role violent kinder past humor good old days family peaceful present competitve household gentle childhood communication
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