The Family and Friends Factor
What were your parent's extended family and friends' reactions to the news of your pending arrival?
Many of you have heard the phrase, "it takes a village to raise a child." Just like your humble beginnings was impacted by the reactions of your parents; the reactions of your grandparents, aunts, uncles, close friends and neighbors, etc. also played a role. Your parents may have been elated by the news, while the grandparents felt it was too early, too soon or just not a good match to begin with. The reverse may have been true where the grandparents were wondering what the hold up was, while your parents felt pressure to please them. There are so many variations in between.
Reflect on your relationships with the various members of your family and close friends of your family. Who do you seem to just connect with most of the time? Who do you seem to feel strange "vibes" from and wonder what that's about? What parts of the family "story" do you know regarding your birth and where are there gaps in the story? This will help guide you to who in your family you may need to have some conversations with to help fill in these gaps. Write down your discoveries and reflections of these discoveries in your journal.
One of my former students used to be a real challenge in school. She tended to be referred to as the "drama queen." She perceived school rules pertaining to others and not to her. She had difficulty respecting social boundaries with her peers as well as differentiating adult/authority roles and children's roles. She was always manipulating situations to be the center of attention, and becoming verbally abusive when her attempts were not successful. When I met with her mother, she shared that prior to the birth of this child, she had several miscarriages. While she was pregnant with this child, the entire family was very supportive and helping the mother as none of them could bear to go through another miscarriage. This child was born almost 2 months premature and was in intensive care for a few weeks. Family members and friends came to visit the hospital regularly during that time to support her as well as pray for the well being of this child.
When she survived, the hospital referred to her as a miracle baby and felt she was very special. Once she was brought home, everyone fussed over her and treated her very special as she was seen as a real blessing. The mother admitted that even now, many family members still cater to her as a result of how she started out. The mother can see how this has had a negative impact on the way her daughter interacts with others outside of the household as well as at home. She shared that it is difficult to maintain any consistent discipline between having weak moments herself as well as her attempts being undermined by other relatives who see this child as "the princess."
How did the reaction of extended family and friends’ impact on your way of being in this world? Visit www.MutsMer.com for more information.
Many of you have heard the phrase, "it takes a village to raise a child." Just like your humble beginnings was impacted by the reactions of your parents; the reactions of your grandparents, aunts, uncles, close friends and neighbors, etc. also played a role. Your parents may have been elated by the news, while the grandparents felt it was too early, too soon or just not a good match to begin with. The reverse may have been true where the grandparents were wondering what the hold up was, while your parents felt pressure to please them. There are so many variations in between.
Reflect on your relationships with the various members of your family and close friends of your family. Who do you seem to just connect with most of the time? Who do you seem to feel strange "vibes" from and wonder what that's about? What parts of the family "story" do you know regarding your birth and where are there gaps in the story? This will help guide you to who in your family you may need to have some conversations with to help fill in these gaps. Write down your discoveries and reflections of these discoveries in your journal.
One of my former students used to be a real challenge in school. She tended to be referred to as the "drama queen." She perceived school rules pertaining to others and not to her. She had difficulty respecting social boundaries with her peers as well as differentiating adult/authority roles and children's roles. She was always manipulating situations to be the center of attention, and becoming verbally abusive when her attempts were not successful. When I met with her mother, she shared that prior to the birth of this child, she had several miscarriages. While she was pregnant with this child, the entire family was very supportive and helping the mother as none of them could bear to go through another miscarriage. This child was born almost 2 months premature and was in intensive care for a few weeks. Family members and friends came to visit the hospital regularly during that time to support her as well as pray for the well being of this child.
When she survived, the hospital referred to her as a miracle baby and felt she was very special. Once she was brought home, everyone fussed over her and treated her very special as she was seen as a real blessing. The mother admitted that even now, many family members still cater to her as a result of how she started out. The mother can see how this has had a negative impact on the way her daughter interacts with others outside of the household as well as at home. She shared that it is difficult to maintain any consistent discipline between having weak moments herself as well as her attempts being undermined by other relatives who see this child as "the princess."
How did the reaction of extended family and friends’ impact on your way of being in this world? Visit www.MutsMer.com for more information.
Posted by MutsMer.com at 1/22/2010 9:15 AM 
Categories: Reflection, Friends, Birth, Family
Tags: parents Birth child school story discipline village Family Reflection miracle baby journal relationships intensive care reactions miscarriage grandparents drama queen Friends
Categories: Reflection, Friends, Birth, Family
Tags: parents Birth child school story discipline village Family Reflection miracle baby journal relationships intensive care reactions miscarriage grandparents drama queen Friends
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